Emotional & Behavorial Cycle: The best tool I have ever found

The most helpful tool I ever received was in Maryland from a psychologist that worked with my doctor.  I was in a unique mansion customized to house patients who needed quick access to the hospitals nearby.  We had group meeting every day at 3:00pm.  I wanted to nap.  I had tools already.  I didn't want to meet the guy who had been hit by lightening and hear his story again, or the lady who had back pain... I had just had surgery.  I heard them yesterday. Didn't they know how painful it would be to slide down on my bottom two flights of stairs to the living room with my leg out straight ?

Well.. I did it. You might be thinking... why no elevator?  Why didn't you stay in a hotel?

The truth was... having to go through the struggle of getting to that group meeting placed me in a vulnerable place to HEAR.  My m.o. before was to go inside and turtle and figure it out... then come out and share.  I had no choice there.

GETTING PAST YOUR FEAR IS EMPOWERING. IT TAKES YOU TO SEE THE OPEN DOORS.

I heard the cheers of the patients and the male receptionist at his desk at the bottom of the spiral stairs...(George happened to be the size of football player with a booming and sweetly sarcastic voice, "Kaitlyn!  What you doin' girl? You're late.  You have surgery or something?  You gotta leave earlier.  Whoa!  You played that crab soccer out in California huh?  Hustle, hustle!  You gonna beat the traffic traffic down those stairs! 3, 2, 1... alright!  Now in an hour you can do it backwards.  He he he."

I sent a few empty threats in return.   "When I get up I will throw my crutches at you, George."

HUMOR HELPS YOU GET THROUGH ANYTHING.


Okay. So what did I get in the group?  A photocopied piece of paper that I refer to daily and have been for seven years.

The "Emotional and Behavioral Cycle" of families and patients in chronic pain.   If you are interested in joining me as I share this tool on conference call, please comment or contact me.

I hope you can use and share the revised version I created.

Reflecting...

When I was almost one year old, I broke my leg jumping at my mother out of the crib. I spent my first birthday in traction in the living room. It was a Raggedy Ann theme. ( Yes, I have an amazing memory ;-) My mother tells me after the cast came off I would sit in the kitchen leaning against my 3 year old sister. It was the only way my weakened body could be upright. As I was learning how to walk my sister again was my biggest supporter. I sit in the quiet now reflecting. You held me up with your body. Back to back ... I sit. Back to my back... I stand. Back to back...I walk. Your strong back offered against my weakened back created joy for both of us. I think we learn to strength through surrender. We learn to lean in against one that loves us even greater. Through surrender healing comes. Joy builds. Throughout my life I have experienced times I could feel her backbone stronger than mine. She was 2 years older and till we were 19 , the distance seemed like forever. Who would be taller? Who would have the first kiss? Who would have the first child? Who would end up sick?... screeching halt. No. That's not something you ever consider from the beginning. It's inconceivable. And it would be me. The way my sister chose to walk with me during my heartbreak and illness was to listen to the depths of my heart. I could talk on and on and she would listen and find the good. She entrusted me to write a musical with her 3 weeks before one of my surgeries. It helped me to laugh.. to get through ... to be distracted... to move forward...and she wrote the most beautiful meditative music out of my freedom words. And I write my own now and sing and fly... I listened when I was leaning in... and the notes come...effortlessly. She sings like an angel... because she is one. An enduring sisterhood, still growing. From 3000 miles away we have spent the last 18 years attempting to continue the gardening of our lives side by side. Not always perfectly seeing where the other is walking, but always willing to have an open heart... we remain close by surrendering expectation some days, always hoping for the best for each other. I love to see her in my children. I love to be Auntie of hers... The overwhelming affection that she bestows on those around her is breathtaking. In her life wherever she roams...it's always Spring. Happy birthday dear sister, Spring. May we one day share a garden and neighboring porches. You are welcome in my yard everyday... wuv you Pez.

You Deserve to Relax

"I want to sing like the birds sing not worrying about who hears or what they think." - Rumi

Do you ever feel overwhelmed?  As if you should take time to relax, but don't have any idea of how to start.  SO much to do, so many people you don't want to let down, and your body is aching and burning with an unpredictable disease you cannot control. You are exhausted from explaining why you have to change plans. If only you could just have five minutes of peace...

Good news!
The American Chronic Pain Association has a brief five minute video that you can use from your desktop, mobile device right in bed.

While you give yourself this gift of time, remember to honor yourself by doing the following:

• Find a place where you have privacy.
• It is extremely important that you do not use an instant message program.
• Resist the urge to facebook.
• Silence your telephone.  
• Shut the television off.
• Tell your family members gently, that you need privacy and quiet.  It is better to inform before than be irritated during your relaxation.

Now...get comfortable, but do not lay down on your side. You don't want to fall asleep during the relaxation exercise.

Notice your breaths, your heart rate, your thought process right now.
What is your pain level?
Your coping level?  
Now you are ready...enjoy!

http://www.theacpa.org/videoPlayer.aspx?id=4

Now that you have watched the video... again, notice your breaths, your heart rate, is your mind settled down?  What is your pain level?  Coping?

If you have additional time, try journaling before you finally take that nap.

Let me know if you enjoyed this particular video... I am in the process of creating my own and building a collection of favorites.
 
If stress makes your symptoms worse, then relaxing surely makes it better.  It does for me ;)

Be like the bird who, pausing in her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing she hath wings. .. 

REMINDER...

TUESDAYS IN TOUCH SUPPORT 9AM PACIFIC

Call 605-475-4700   Passcode 1063948#

We will say announce ourselves, say a brief hello, and begin promptly.

Come as You are!

(victor hugo)

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/bird.html#HACu3L5U2AGOqllS.99

Gratitude, Music of the Heart

Gratitude is the music of the heart, 

when its chords are swept by the breeze of kindness.  

~unknown~

 

When you find your pain starting to run your day, or it's time to rest and you are unable to let go... create a little grateful music.

Select a peaceful, meditative, worshipful song or creat a set list in your music device...

Tilt your head back, lie down on your bed, or close your eyes if you are able.

Who are you grateful for?

Repeat them name by name...and as you begin, notice the flow of names and people that come to mind.  Notice if it turns into a second verse of things you are blessed with.  Follow this train of music until you are at peace with your 

own company in the silence...

Repeat daily

 

Wherever I have knocked, a door has opened.  Wherever I have wandered, a path has appeared.  ~

Alice Walker, In Search of Our Mothers' Gardens (Acknowledgments)

http://www.facebook.com/groups/TuesdaysintouchRSD/

  

The First Day...

"Reminding one another of the dream that each of us aspires to may be enough for us to set each other free."

- Antoine De Saint-Exupery

CREATING HOPE WITH DAILY JOURNALING...

To begin our journey, we will need a notebook ;) 

Each morning, before I do anything else, I write three pages of random subconscious streaming in my journal.  Let me rephrase... this is a process I used to do. I restarted two weeks ago.  Some days I do it later on, but my life works the best when I do it consistently in the morning, daily.  If we do this daily together, and drain our brains,  even making lists, together we will set ourselves free of all the negative garbage that wants to impact our hope for the day.  It's proven that a quiet time helps people create a moment to listen to their hearts, to God, to their own voice.  With a journal, you have an opportunity to create a new morning ritual, linger over your tea cup, or coffee, or ... beverage of choice... even a little music sometimes, or a bath. (I have been reminded to keep the music away from the bath however...) 

My most creative and successful goals have been birthed when I was doing this process called "Morning Pages" * regularly with accountability.  Tuesdays In Touch RSD Support Calls, Sonoma Hope, Kaitastrophe (my bottlecap/pendant jewelry line), song writing..all happened because I emptied my vessel to be refilled.  I had not thought of doing any of these things before I started the process of emptying my mind.  Then suddenly, I had more room for the things I love to do...and more ideas and relationships to do them with.

If you are looking for something "more" for your life, now that it didn't turn out how you thought, now that you live with pain... consider journaling with me. I wonder what amazing and creative things are inside of you!

TIPS:
Don't try to write complete sentences. Just fill three pages.
Do not share these pages with anyone.
Do not reread these pages for 8 weeks.
It is not meant to be art, or poetry... just thought drain:
 "I don't feel like writing what was that noise oh well maybe she's home was that the dog I hate RSD I hate RSD I hate RSD I wonder when the doctor will call am I at three pages yet?"


*(see Morning Pages from the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron.   http://juliacameronlive.com/) 

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